I remember that bleak January well.
Cold nights crying hot tears into white pillows.
There were ugly phone calls, and long hugs, and broken prayers with friends.
You used to walk in the snow for hours, and try to find reasons not to go inside to start studying for your Anatomy class. The cold would hit your chest and take your breath away, but it reminded you that you were still alive.
And you needed that reminder.
You wore that locket around your neck. The one with the golden chain that you’ve worn since you were six.
You twirled it around your fingers, wore it underneath your sweaters so it was close to your heart.
Over the years, the locket has held a number of things.
And the day she died, you folded up a piece of paper with a quote on it and placed it inside your locket.
“There is no pit so deep that the love of God is not deeper still.”
The pit you were in was deeper than you could fathom. But God’s love was deeper still.
And you remembered the goodness of God.
The the same God that knew you and held you was holding your grandma in His very arms.
The Victor that defeated death and the grave had raised your grandma into glory to be with Him.
And God held you, those long nights.
He held you closely as you sobbed into His arms.
And when you finally drifted off to sleep, He was there.
And when you awoke, His presence was thick about you.
You kept a note card of Psalm 139:18 on the wall beside your bed and you read it every morning.
“How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.”
The rest of the semester you stumbled along, like a child with untied shoelaces.
You walked with God and He held your hand.
He promised to never leave you or forsake you.
And He didn’t.
He still hasn’t.
He never will.
Oh sweet girl with the locket, look back on your freshman year, on your spring semester, on that January, and see the faithfulness of God.
Remember the rest and healing the Lord gave you when you returned home for the summer.
Remember it now as you continue on in your sophomore year.
Psalm 139:18 is still hanging beside your bed.
The locket is still hanging around your neck, holding the promises of God inside.
Do not forget.
Think of how the Lord provided finances for you to stay at your school.
Your dad lost his job just a few days into the semester, which was supposed to help pay for some of your school bills.
And in your time of need, you trusted that the Lord would provide.
Even if that provision meant He thought it best for you to go home.
Even if that provision meant you could stay.
He opened up a door for you to be on your school’s traveling worship team. This paid position allows you to stay at school.
And after all of these promises fulfilled, after all of God’s faithfulness, will He not continue to provide?
Oh girl with the golden chain around your neck, do not forget what the Lord has done.
I see you now,
sitting on your bed, mind scrambling for answers.
I see you walking from class to class, wondering what will happen next.
Your dad has been desperate to find a job to be able to take care of your family.
And in his efforts to find a job, he was scammed.
A lot of money was stolen from him, and some was stolen from you too.
Your bank account is completely empty, and so is your father’s.
There is no money.
There is nothing to pay for your family’s rent that is due today.
There is nothing to pay for your brother’s college apartment rent.
There is no money to go to the bills, the utilities, the phones, the food.
But God is faithful.
He may not be faithful in the way you may want or expect Him to be.
His thoughts are not your thoughts, His way are not your ways.
Your family may be kicked out, or your phones may be turned off.
But He is holding you just as closely as He did when your grandma died.
He is still there when you wake up,
His love is still deeper than this pit.
I pray you hold that locket close to your heart.
I pray you remember what the Lord has done.
I pray you trust in Him fully and do not doubt Him for even a second.
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin,
29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.
33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
34 Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”